Tuesday 17 February 2015

She's A Liverpool Girl, She Loves A Dance...

 I love Liverpool. I love the people, the shopping, the architecture but most of all I love the nightlife and I reckon I'm dead lucky to live somewhere that definitely has some of the best bars around complete with tidy bartenders and even better bevys. I'm not arsed if you're a student or you're "only going for a quiet one" (when does that happen really?) you should always make an effort. Now I don't mean you have to have a spray tan/Illamasqua makeover and full professional curly blow every weekend cos let's be honest I get payed monthly and I'm normally skint a week after pay day but that doesn't mean you let your prin standards drop. If anything you should go out more in order to get better at the pre night out prep so you don't look shit when it actually matters. 
The basics are obviously tan, hair and make-up and what you're wearing but if you've got the first three sorted you can almost get away with your outfit being a bit more chill. 

Tan prep should start AT LEAST a full 24 hours before so you have appropriate time to exfoliate, shave and  moisturise before you even think about picking up that St Moriz. Please don't be one of those crazies who live on the edge and think doing their tan last minute is fine and end up being left with odd arms and a streaky back. None of that tar. 
Tan done, I normally do my hair before my makeup simply because I have more makeup than I care to admit and can spend about 2 hours arsing round when it comes to my eyeliner and fake cheek bones. It's up to you what you do with your hair but please do something, if you're really shit/have no time, scrape it back, keep it high and pretend you've intentionally gone for a catwalk style slicked back pony. Thankfully the hair Gods were looking down on me when I was born and blessed me with my own personal curly blower (my mums a hairdresser), but if this isn't the case for you, then heated rollers will be and should be your best mate. Lash them in before you start your make-up then all's youve really got to do is a bit of back-combing before you leave the house and you're pretty much sorted. 
I pretty much ALWAYS have my hair blown and curled, it's the easiest thing ever!
Contour game so strong
Now when it comes to make-up, there's no time for messing round cos this is where it becomes obvious who means business and who needs to be sent back across the Mersey from whence they came. If you're not on the contouring/highlighting bandwagon then get on it now. It will change your life (and your face). The scarier and linier you look the better, just for the love of God make sure you remember to blend it properly! It should be flawless, no big lines or white stripes across your face please ladies. When it comes to eyes, there always has to be something there. I don't care if you're 'doing a statement lip' or if you can't do a smokey eye for shit. Buy a Naked palette, a 217 brush and teach yourself how to blend. Don't throw yourself in the deep end with black though, leave that to the professionals or there's a 99% chance you will end up with a striking resemblance to a panda. Also I find it WELL better to do my eyes before my foundation etc, just in case I have one of those days when you get leaky eye syndrome and half your eyeshadows down your face because you blinked too fast. Do it first then you're free to wipe away any mishaps. Eyelashes should be your mate, don't be scared of them cos I really do think they can sense fear. Trim them, put your glue on, pull yourself together and just pray you don't end up looking like you've got one eye looking at you and one looking for you. I assure you that there's nothing that awakens my wooldar more than a bare eyelid complete with an untrimmed spider lash, THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL. If this is you, now you know the error of your ways please correct it IMMEDIATELY or I will not be held accountable for my actions the next time this holy show presents itself to me. Soz rant over, please don't do it though, k? Boss. Lipstick should also be your mate. Whoever said you can't do lips and eyes is probably the same person who said you cant get your boobs and your legs out at the same time, clearly a boring bitch. I reckon a smokey eye and a red lip look fab and I wouldn't be seen dead without my lippy on a Saturday night. 

Once all this fun stuff is sorted you're now free to sort through those 25 outfits you and your mates have deemed acceptable, find something fabulous and then make sure it's slut-drop proof whilst listening to BeyoncĂ©, with a bevy in hand whilst waiting for your Delta (get the iPhone app, it's well quicker). 

Town is BOSS, therefore you should look boss cos you always have a better night when you know you're looking fab!
Don't forget though, you've made all this effort so YOU have an amazing night so  please don't be the girl who stands at the bar pouting all night, eyeing up every fella who walks past and just waiting for someone to buy them a drink.  Swerve that. Be fab cos you want to be and not cos you're looking for a fella and you're determined not to pay for any of your own bevys. Get your birds, get your bevys and then find a big enough dance space to do the full Single Ladies routine and then slut drop for the rest of the night. 

XXX

Wednesday 11 February 2015

Fake It Til You Make It - The Kylie Jenner Effect

Hey hey hey, 

So unless you've been living under a rock of late, I'm sure you've all been privy to the worldwide phenomenon that is Kylie Jenner's lips. 
Now I for one, am one of those people who has no qualms whatsoever when it comes to plastic surgery or fillers or whatever, so many people look amazing with it, many of whom I know. I'm also pretty sure that as soon as I can afford it, I will be getting a 0.5ml Juvederm syringe of filler in my lips to make me look pouty and fab. 
My problem however is that Kylie is telling the world she hasn't had anything done and is therefore responsible for girls everywhere drawing big lines on their face and passing them off as their lips as if no one can tell. I'm not saying she doesn't do it well, cos bloody hell that girls make-up is on another level of perfection but seriously who is she kidding? She's gone from this to this in like 6 months...
Girl please. 
If she want's to say she's had no fillers (which I highly doubt) that's cool, she's very clearly also over-drawing and rounding them off but can she at least say something? She's acting as if it's normal for your lips to just quadruple in size over night, which unless you've developed a particularly nasty allergy to something, they don't. Tell the world your secret before every girl in the world thinks that because they own a nude liner, they've cheated their way to new lips-you haven't.

My real problem here though, is the MAC problem. Ever since the new and surgically enhanced improved Kylie emerged, everyone and their dog has jumped on the bandwagon and sought out the lipliner that is apparently Kylie's secret- Whirl. That lipliner has been sold out for what, 6 months? This however has now filtered down into the other MAC liners and consequentially led to MY lipliner of choice for the last 3 years, Spice, being sold out for nearly 2 months in my two local MAC stores. WHAT?! Is this a sick joke? I've had to change to a pro liner in Nice 'n' Spicy, which is good but it's not the same. 
Seriously Kylie, what are you playing at? Just tell everyone your mouth is full of collagen and put the world to rights again!

XXX

Monday 9 February 2015

All Night Long - Clutch Bag Essentials

Sup guys,  

               So I reckon over the past few months, I've finally sorted out my night out clutch bag essentials and I've basically got it down to a T. Now let me warn you in advance, I favour and over-sized clutch, simply because I carry a lot of shit needs lots of things. So this guide probably isn't going to be for those who want to carry some sort of wristlet invention (HOW DO YOU DO THAT?!). 

First the obvious: phone/cash/ID/keys. I assume these are everyones essentials for a night out, unless of course you like have a beard or don't use phones, have a bar tab and get into your house through the window at the end of the night. If you're not one of those people however, I assume you would need all these things. I personally don't ever take a purse on a night out as it just takes up unnecessary room in my already rather full bag. It's much easier to put your card/cash/ID in the zip compartment of your bag and not have the worry that if your purse mysteriously disappears, you're left with nothing (of course if you lose your bag, you would also be left with this problem so just don't lose your bag, okay?). 

Now lets get onto the important stuff. 
Firstly and possibly one of the most crucial part of any going out bag, EYELASH GLUE (unless you don't wear eyelashes *shudder*). If you don't take your eyelash glue out, you are playing a very risky little game and must be some sort of dare devil/adrenaline junky, cos really WHY you take that risk? Are you insane? What happens if you get caught in a twister? What happens if the tequila hits you the wrong way and you burst into completely unnecessary tears? Or most likely, what happens if those pesky corners come unstuck and you have to walk round looking a little bit gozzy for the rest of the night? Just take the glue,k? 
GOD.

Next, you should always take a powder and a brush. I know some people don't feel the need to carry make-up on a night out (I don't personally know any of these people obviously) but I really think you should. Think of that dreaded moment when you get the Instagram/Twitter/Facebook notification the morning after a night out, that you've been tagged in photos from the night before, you might look like a drunken mess but at least if you've been touching up all night, you won't be shiny *silver lining* 
AIR BRUSH FLAWLESS FINISH
I personally favour this one, as it's brilliant, has a nice big mirror and it looks pretty

Next, something that I've found particularly useful of late. As someone who favours a nice lipstick, whether that be a dark purple, deep red or a Kylie Jenner-esque nude, I'll always be wearing something. Obviously your lipstick fades throughout the night and particularly in winter, this tends to leave a bit of dry patchy lip behind. Which is why I feel lip balm is necessary. Put it on before you re-apply for a smoother application or put it on when you can't be bothered to put your lips back on and get a lighter and shiny version of your prior lip colour, simple!

That is what I'd call the bare minimum. I personally also take my lipstick, bronzer, bronzer brush, eye liner, chewing gum, plasters and a hair bobble (in case of the dreaded rain striking). But I personally think you could probably scrape through with that much. 
Let me know what you take on a night out, am I the only clutch bag hoarder? Tell me in the comments below!

XXX





Sunday 8 February 2015

You're Not 19 Forever, Pull Yourself Together...

Oh hey there, 
                     So here I am, crawling back to this blog, pretending I haven't been absent for nearly a year... but the dates don't lie and here I am writing a blog post. I've decided I've got some stuff to say and I've got to do SOMETHING to make a change before I turn the dreaded 1-9. Now  I know many people will be thinking, what's so bad about 19? A thought I shared with you until it started coming at me faster than I'd like to admit and I realised I'd done barely anything of interest in my first year as a real-life adult *let the sobs commence*.

So I'm going to blog again, cos then I can at least say I do something other than sleep, eat and watch Netflix...(I'm not sorry about any of those things btw). 
Also I still have a ridiculous need to buy beauty products and spend way too much money on them. This month is also filled with birthday funzies which means lots of getting my make-up done and new make-up to go along with it *cheers immensely*.

Gerd your loins kids, this is gonna get good. 

XXX
Happy me on my birthday last year, oh how times change...