Tuesday, 17 February 2015

She's A Liverpool Girl, She Loves A Dance...

 I love Liverpool. I love the people, the shopping, the architecture but most of all I love the nightlife and I reckon I'm dead lucky to live somewhere that definitely has some of the best bars around complete with tidy bartenders and even better bevys. I'm not arsed if you're a student or you're "only going for a quiet one" (when does that happen really?) you should always make an effort. Now I don't mean you have to have a spray tan/Illamasqua makeover and full professional curly blow every weekend cos let's be honest I get payed monthly and I'm normally skint a week after pay day but that doesn't mean you let your prin standards drop. If anything you should go out more in order to get better at the pre night out prep so you don't look shit when it actually matters. 
The basics are obviously tan, hair and make-up and what you're wearing but if you've got the first three sorted you can almost get away with your outfit being a bit more chill. 

Tan prep should start AT LEAST a full 24 hours before so you have appropriate time to exfoliate, shave and  moisturise before you even think about picking up that St Moriz. Please don't be one of those crazies who live on the edge and think doing their tan last minute is fine and end up being left with odd arms and a streaky back. None of that tar. 
Tan done, I normally do my hair before my makeup simply because I have more makeup than I care to admit and can spend about 2 hours arsing round when it comes to my eyeliner and fake cheek bones. It's up to you what you do with your hair but please do something, if you're really shit/have no time, scrape it back, keep it high and pretend you've intentionally gone for a catwalk style slicked back pony. Thankfully the hair Gods were looking down on me when I was born and blessed me with my own personal curly blower (my mums a hairdresser), but if this isn't the case for you, then heated rollers will be and should be your best mate. Lash them in before you start your make-up then all's youve really got to do is a bit of back-combing before you leave the house and you're pretty much sorted. 
I pretty much ALWAYS have my hair blown and curled, it's the easiest thing ever!
Contour game so strong
Now when it comes to make-up, there's no time for messing round cos this is where it becomes obvious who means business and who needs to be sent back across the Mersey from whence they came. If you're not on the contouring/highlighting bandwagon then get on it now. It will change your life (and your face). The scarier and linier you look the better, just for the love of God make sure you remember to blend it properly! It should be flawless, no big lines or white stripes across your face please ladies. When it comes to eyes, there always has to be something there. I don't care if you're 'doing a statement lip' or if you can't do a smokey eye for shit. Buy a Naked palette, a 217 brush and teach yourself how to blend. Don't throw yourself in the deep end with black though, leave that to the professionals or there's a 99% chance you will end up with a striking resemblance to a panda. Also I find it WELL better to do my eyes before my foundation etc, just in case I have one of those days when you get leaky eye syndrome and half your eyeshadows down your face because you blinked too fast. Do it first then you're free to wipe away any mishaps. Eyelashes should be your mate, don't be scared of them cos I really do think they can sense fear. Trim them, put your glue on, pull yourself together and just pray you don't end up looking like you've got one eye looking at you and one looking for you. I assure you that there's nothing that awakens my wooldar more than a bare eyelid complete with an untrimmed spider lash, THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL. If this is you, now you know the error of your ways please correct it IMMEDIATELY or I will not be held accountable for my actions the next time this holy show presents itself to me. Soz rant over, please don't do it though, k? Boss. Lipstick should also be your mate. Whoever said you can't do lips and eyes is probably the same person who said you cant get your boobs and your legs out at the same time, clearly a boring bitch. I reckon a smokey eye and a red lip look fab and I wouldn't be seen dead without my lippy on a Saturday night. 

Once all this fun stuff is sorted you're now free to sort through those 25 outfits you and your mates have deemed acceptable, find something fabulous and then make sure it's slut-drop proof whilst listening to Beyonc√©, with a bevy in hand whilst waiting for your Delta (get the iPhone app, it's well quicker). 

Town is BOSS, therefore you should look boss cos you always have a better night when you know you're looking fab!
Don't forget though, you've made all this effort so YOU have an amazing night so  please don't be the girl who stands at the bar pouting all night, eyeing up every fella who walks past and just waiting for someone to buy them a drink.  Swerve that. Be fab cos you want to be and not cos you're looking for a fella and you're determined not to pay for any of your own bevys. Get your birds, get your bevys and then find a big enough dance space to do the full Single Ladies routine and then slut drop for the rest of the night. 


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